The last couple of weeks, I talked about how motivation follows action, and that we must begin actually doing something, even if it is super small or imperfect, in order to get started. Most people (except for me) have mastered those mundane tasks that I used as examples, and maybe the articles seemed a bit silly to many.
But these principles actually work on the big stuff, too, like getting out of your rut and getting busy doing that Thing you have always wanted to do.
Most of us have something we would love to do “someday.” We call it our “dream.”
Maybe you have thought that it would be neat to earn a degree or certification, learn a skill like woodworking or mechanics, learn how to quilt, speak a foreign language, remodel your kitchen, build a perennial rock garden, start a YouTube channel, or learn how to finger pick that guitar sitting in the closet.
But daily life happens- you have to make money to buy food, and prepare the food, and feed the people, and clean up after the people, and pay your bills, and show up to the event that someone else volunteered you to help at, and drive kids to practice, and take out the garbage, and feed the dog, and mow the lawn, and help plan that party, and go to the doctor, and take someone else to the doctor, and nag someone else to go to the doctor, and babysit, and fix the car, and now there is a leak in the basement, and someone is sick, and you need cardboard for your kid’s math class by tomorrow, and, yeah, you loser, you better also eat right (why did you eat a Hot Pocket for dinner, you know that isn’t healthy), and also exercise, and…
And another day comes and goes, you are exhausted, and you are no closer today than you were yesterday to working on that Thing.
Well, in the next couple of posts, I’m going to explore ways that we can try, using our “dreams” and our Core Values as a guide, to make some progress towards doing that Thing that seems so elusive now. We are going to try to see if we could perhaps even start in that direction now, and not wait until a tomorrow that may never come.
Today, I’ll talk about the first two ideas that come to my mind:
First, and probably most important: Recognize that there are seasons in life:
During some of these seasons, we may only have time to barely keep afloat.
We will have times when other people depend on us for daily care, whether it is little toddlers who need help with all the things, kids who need to go to football practice, teens who need to talk late into the night over coffee, or an older parent who needs a little more assistance nowadays.
We may go through valleys of grief, where just getting through the day feels like an overwhelming feat.
We might have a time when we-or a loved one-are going through an illness, medical treatment, or emotional trials that demand our attention and care. There might be times of financial setback where everyone has to pitch in just to keep the house.
During those times, there will be fewer opportunities to pursue side quests.
And that is ok. It helps to have more of a bird’s eye view of life to realize that most seasons are not forever.
Having said that, however, there probably will never be a time in our lives that we have the luxury of being able to solely focus on those dream projects. If we want to do them, we are going to have to find a way to do them while life is happening (just maybe not during those more intense seasons).
Second, understand that just having a dream for “someday” is not going to get us there.
We say something like, “someday, I’d like to restore that old vintage car in the garage,” or “I have a dream of starting a home sourdough business.” It is good to have big goals and dreams which act as a “North Star” pointing where you’d like to be headed. But those are really broad endpoints.
It is good to have a stated dream or goal, but having this macro statement alone includes no clear directions on actually how to get there.
It is paralyzing to think of how to even start it. There is not time today to work on the whole project, obviously, so it just becomes this “tomorrow” idea.
It has no bite-sized action steps, so we don’t really know what to actually do.
And we keep scrolling the internet, watching other people do the thing we thought of doing, and collecting ideas and inspiration on our boards.
This gives us that Dopamine hit we want, so it’s good enough for today, but it never sets us on any actual course.
It leaves us with this unsatisfying longing. At least that dream statement keeps us from despairing, because there is always tomorrow.
But, over the years, the number of remaining “tomorrows” starts to get smaller and smaller, and deep down, we know we are running out of tomorrows to push it off to.
To make it happen, we must break this goal down into concrete, doable fragments. I bet you already have a list of these steps made. You have probably already done hours of that kind of research. And that’s great!
So what we need to do now is to get some actual forward momentum going.
Like we discussed in the last post, It is time to DO SOMETHING, ANYTHING, even if it isn’t all that big.
It doesn’t even mean you are making a commitment to go all in yet. But you have to take a couple of actual, real steps in that direction.
You have to do the first thing. Actually go out and DO it.
If you want to earn that certification, pick up the phone, right now, and make an appointment to physically go in and talk to the admissions coordinator at the junior college. (You have researched it online enough. It is time for an in-person visit.) You don’t have to register for classes yet. Just go there and feel what it feels like to be there, picture yourself at one of the desks, and talk to that coordinator.
If you have always wanted to start painting, or sewing, or gardening, don’t spend a month researching the best tools. Just grab some paint and paint something on a cardboard box, or sew a little quilt square from a kit, or put a flower or a basil plant in a pot and set it on the windowsill.
If you are tired of the rat race and want to retire someday, but the idea of looking at your financial situation is scary, don’t say, “I am going to cut costs and make a budget.” That’s too big of a project for now. Don’t spend hours looking at people on YouTube who have learned to cut every single penny by recycling apple cores to save money making their own vinegar.
To start, just get out your credit card statement (or your Amazon purchase history, that kind of thing), and write down what you spent for different things, like entertainment, food, subscriptions, etc in order to get an idea of what your actual current picture is.
Just take the first step. It can be done with the same mindset as last week’s idea: this first step does not need to be huge or done perfectly.
We are stepping forward, taking a little sample, and turning an abstract thought into a little bit of concrete action.
Next post, we will talk about moving down the task list and how to maximize our environments to make it easier to pursue these dreams.
Until then, what would happen if, this week, you made a commitment to actually do that one, small, first
step?
Try it and see!
