Today

As soon as I found out that I might have MS, I had so many uncertainties storming around in my head. Was I going to be in a wheelchair in a year? Would I go blind? What if I cannot use the bathroom without help? Was I going to struggle with debilitating fatigue, or even fall into an uncontrollable depression? These are potential things that can happen with Multiple Sclerosis.

The idea that, at any moment in time, I could have an instant change to my life was pretty scary.

When you get diagnosed with a weird disease, you now see these looming clouds in the distance that a storm may be coming. With some diseases, you can pretty much track out the course, which, with some diagnoses, is extremely scary. With MS, there is no predicting your outcome. It is like having a tornado warning, but you don’t really know if, when, where, or how badly it is going to hit. It leaves a lot of uncertainty and fear of the future.

During that time, I spent a lot of time learning about the potentials of this disease, working through my thoughts, praying, and making medical decisions.

I also began to hash out a plan for what was in my power to do in order to give myself the best possible shot at preparing for being as strong (emotionally, spiritually, and physically) as I possibly could in case of a setback.

I did this even as I was awaiting a diagnosis.

I figured that, if I did have MS, these choices could optimize my health when dealing with the symptoms, helping to defend against depression, helping to decrease the severity of comorbidities like heart disease/diabetes/obesity, to lessen the impact of aging, etc…whether I had MS or not.

If I did not have MS, these choices could help me to be more able to do the things I wanted to do, to serve others, and to enjoy my life. 

As I hashed through all of these thoughts, an idea came to my mind. Each one of us, no matter whether we can actually see the distant clouds of a looming illness or not, is living each day in the balance.

Young or old, we do not always know what life-changing event could be lurking in the next seconds of our lives.

A dear friend of mine had a sudden brain aneurysm one random weekday morning, and her life was changed.

A person I loved, who had an impact on so many other lives, was unexpectedly taken, it felt like too soon, by a car accident just a few miles from his home.

We had a couple terrifying scares with our little baby granddaughter a few years ago, which stopped our hearts.

Another long-time friend, who is like family to us, has been faced with Parkinson’s disease. He has been an example to others of trying to work through the fears of the future and challenges of the present in order to live his life fully today.

If I let the fears of tomorrow paralyze me, I will stop living today.

TODAY!!!

This is becoming a theme word I can hold onto in times of fear–not just in times of fear of this particular diagnosis, but for all other things in life, too.

This word “TODAY” holds inside of it a lot of optimism, determination, and grit.

But, it also holds probably a greater amount of humility and faith in the Lord and submission to his will, resting in his strength and trusting in his plan.

I need to have an eternal perspective that this world here is not my final destination. And here in this world, it would be wise of me to plan ahead for tomorrow (Proverbs “consider the ant…” )

But life is actually being lived today. NOW.

I took a little time to brainstorm a few ideas about this in the Bible:

Mt 6:33-34: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Therefore, take no thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow shall take thought of the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is its own evil.”

Today has enough to worry about without becoming burdened by fears of the future.

Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

Jesus is a constant that does not change with my changing moods and circumstances.

Mt 6:27 “…and which of you by taking thought can add one cubit to his stature?”

I need to acknowledge the areas I cannot control (and take action on the things I can).

1 Pet 5:7 “…casting all your care upon Him, for he cares for you.”

Prov 27:1 “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.”

“This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. “

“Great is thy faithfulness…thy mercies are new every morning.”

It is true that I live physically here in the time and space I am in right now. But I can also have an eternal, big picture perspective and rest in the power of the One who does know everything. All I know about for sure, and all I can do anything about, is TODAY, right here, right NOW.

So when I find fear creeping in about the possible struggles of tomorrow, I can remind myself to:

STOP: grab that word: “TODAY.”

TODAY What can you do today? Do that.

TODAY What are you supposed to be doing today? Do that.

TODAY Who can you be a blessing to today? Do that.

TODAY What can you do for tomorrow’s you that will make you stronger? Healthier? Smarter? More mentally clear? Spiritually prepared?

Do that TODAY.

DO TODAY.