The Chair That Could Fold Laundry All By Itself: Motivation, Part 1

If you know, you know.  If you are like me, these next two posts are going to resonate with you in a sad and sickening, but true, way.  But if you are not like me: first, thank the Lord.  But then, realize that you are going to be yelling at your screen as you read this.  Just enjoy the entertainment. 

But, if you know, you know. 

In a recent pair of posts, I talked a lot about defining our Core Values that can guide our daily choices and keep us on course for the things we want to accomplish and who we want to be.

That is the easy part for me.  You know, the part where I sit around and drink coffee and think about a bunch of stuff.  But eventually, the coffee pot runs out, and the morning is half spent.  

And I’m still sitting here, looking at my beautifully curated list and knowing that the next steps involve action on my part. 

That is the hard part for me. 

For some reason, I am great at the planning phase, and, even the doing phase, once I actually START doing something.  Once I start doing something, I’m almost unstoppable.  

But, when it comes to the actual STARTING, I become paralyzed all of a sudden.   

There are two different kinds of tasks that we do that lead us to living out our Core Values.  The first kind is about those big projects.  You know, working on that vintage car in the garage, painting your house, starting that business, or getting that degree you always wanted to pursue. With these kinds of projects, I can get so immersed in them (once I actually start) that nothing can stand in my way.  I will forsake all other tasks when I am engrossed in a project like this.  But I often just cannot start. 

The other kind of task is actually the one that is the most crucial, the most effective at setting us on the course we want to be taking.  This is the little, daily choice.  It’s usually the “duh” stuff, and often the most mundane, but necessary, stuff. (And these are sometimes the tasks or choices that get the aforementioned projects done.)

Perhaps it is choosing something more healthful to eat for lunch, lifting for a set of dumbbell exercises, setting up a work space, reading or studying, or even just folding the laundry that has been mocking me for days.

I’m pretty sure that the guy in the furniture store told me that this particular chair will fold laundry for you automatically.  Unless I heard him wrong…I am beginning to suspect that he lied to me, just to get me to buy the chair. 

The little tasks that take only a tiny bit of time are often the ones which overwhelm me the most.  They usually take only about 5 minutes, but, because they only take a short time, they are easy to put off.  And the more they are put off, the bigger they grow. 

If they don’t actually grow physically (dishes, laundry, weeds, phone calls), they grow in dread.  The idea of tackling them paralyzes me more.  

I don’t know why.  

If you don’t have this problem, you won’t understand.  I have some friends to whom this concept is completely foreign to them.   I know, I know, JUST DO IT.  But, if you are like me, and you struggle with this kind of paralysis, then you know what I am talking about here. 

The people who know a bunch of stuff give several possible explanations for WHY people like me are like this.  (ADHD? Overthinking?  Distracted? Lazy? Perfectionism?) I don’t have time to get a psychology degree.  I just know that I really need to start a strength training habit, but I keep putting it off and feeling paralyzed by inaction. 

I think I’ll do it tomorrow. 

And that thought of putting it off until tomorrow, and planning to do a grand job of it tomorrow, lulls me back into inactivity today. 

So then it becomes another day I’m not heading in the direction in which my Core Values want to guide me. 

(And, while I am sort of using more mundane examples (laundry, for instance), I am not just trying to be shallow and silly here. The direction we go in life really does come right down to those micro choices we daily make that add up. I discuss this idea more in my two posts about our life’s compass and core values.) 

I need to actually do those daily things that lead me closer, not further, away from the person I want to become.  

The key words here are ACT and DO. Today.  Not tomorrow. 

Sometimes I stand  (or, more like, sit) in my spot, paralyzed, waiting for the motivation to hit me.  Because for me, when motivation hits, nothing stands in my way.  This is gonna be great!!!

But until then….I wait… And wait.  

And sometimes I do a bunch of research:  what is the best way to do the thing?  

But I don’t actually do the thing. 

Maybe I just need to do more research about the benefits of doing the thing.  So I watch 5 different videos/podcasts to hear the experts list the same wonderful benefits of the thing I am not doing.  I am convinced.  

But I don’t actually do the thing. 

Still waiting for motivation.  Is it here yet?  Nope, not yet. 

That organic, from-scratch motivation does not naturally just hit me very often.  

How will I get motivation?  The truth is that I cannot just sit and wait for it to hit. 

Here is the secret:  it is one of those cold, hard facts that I need to remind myself of frequently, or I just won’t get anything done.  

Here is the secret:  

wait for it….

MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION. 

Not the other way around.  

MOTIVATION FOLLOWS ACTION, 99 percent of the time.  

Instead of waiting till you feel like it.  Instead of searching for the perfect life hack to do it absolutely perfectly.  Instead of devising a perfect system.  

Motivation will often follow AFTER you get to work.  

This involves action over feeling, and action despite my feelings.  Even if you don’t feel the motivation, do the thing, anyway!  Today!

Unfortunately, I didn’t remember the source from which I wrote down the following thoughts when I was researching this concept (you know, instead of doing something), but here are some things that some unknown brilliant person in this world came up with: 

The consequences of inaction are slow, chronic, dangerous, less obvious.  

THE PAIN that comes from inaction is low grade, it softens you, and decays you.  It is against who you wish to be.  It causes that massive dissatisfaction that makes you more and more inactive.  

THE PAIN of action, yes, it can be difficult.  But it is the kind of pain that accomplishes your goals and makes you grow. 

Choose your pain.  Both are painful. And you don’t get to escape from pain, because it is a part of life. 

The more agonizing pain is that stagnant, low-grade frustration and perpetual exhaustion that comes from your refusal to act. 

You’ve worn yourself out thinking about things you need to do someday, instead of actually doing them!

What is the cost of your inactivity?

Ok, Ok, I know all of that stuff. And it really is important.   I have been telling myself that for years.  

But, for some reason, the info doesn’t travel well from my head to my walking shoes.  

I don’t have walking shoes, because I hate wearing tennis shoes, and you need good shoes to exercise.  So I guess I better research alternative shoes for exercising.  Oh, wait, there are people who are absolutely sold on barefoot living!  I can totally go for that…now I am on several websites and videos and discussion groups about barefoot living.  But, oh dear, there are also people who warn against the harms and dangers of exercising without shoes.  I better look into that.  “How to safely go barefoot”….enter.  I am already barefoot as I Google how to go barefoot.. and I have not done any walking…

I’m not joking.  I really wish I were. This is exactly the sort of trail I go down on a regular basis.  This is not a nonsense example; this is an actual snapshot of my brain.  

Like I said before, if you know, you know… maybe you are laughing because you can totally identify with what I am saying.  If you don’t know, you are super frustrated reading this, because how can people be so moronic?   

But, really, though.  Most often we have to take action first,  and the motivation will follow.  I have definitely seen this to be true, when I actually do it. 

This post got pretty long, so I separated it into two parts.  In the next post, I will talk about some of the hacks I sometimes try to use to get myself to start actually doing the thing. 

Until then, I am glaring at that chair.  I did try to find the button to turn on the Automatic Laundry Folding feature, but I can’t find it. Maybe there’s like an app or something that I didn’t put on my phone.  I’ll Google that.